YOUR CHOICES- DO THEY REALLY COUNT?

“Everything in life is a reflection of the choices you make. If you want a different result, make a different choice “.

Decisions! Decisions! Our lives are full of them. Each and every day we are faced with multiple choices to make, some of which are small (such as what to eat or wear) and some of which are big and significant (such as career or marriage mate choices). Many people are skeptical of the efficacy of their choices on their lives both in the present and in the future. Owing to this, sadly, many have become negligent with regards to their choices. Do our choices really matter? Do they count?

It is true that we are all free moral agents. We have the freedom to make choices, gratify our desires and act on our impulses, moreover it’s a fundamental human right. Most people are ultimately responsible for their decisions especially people who are of age. On the other hand, some group of persons rely on others to make decisions for them (especially the juveniles). Whichever way, the fact still remains that over 90% of things in our lives is a reflection of our choices and decisions.
Our choices could bring us happiness or sorrow, it can make us euphoric or sad, it can detour our original course and plans for our future. Consider these examples:
■We know it’s totally wrong to take alcoholic beverages before driving. Grey knows this and chooses to guzzle much beer before taking on a journey with his vehicle. He may not be involved in an accident but he really may get involved in one and you know why.
■Nora knows sex before marriage is wrong. She also knows it’s not right to have sex as a teenager. She’s not oblivious of what will happen if she went ahead and gratified her desires. However, she gets laid, gets put in a family way just when she is not ready. Nora’s parents find out about it, they are hurt, they are ashamed of it and they conceal Nora from the neighbors and friends. Sure you know Nora’s education would be halted and she has to take care of herself and the foetus. Nora is not ready for motherhood and sure it would be psychologically and emotionally hard for her and her family. You will agree with me that she has ruined it for that period of her life.
■Francis wishes to be the best graduating student in his school. It’s easy to reach that goal. He knows exactly what to do. He knows he has to attend his classes and really study hard. Well, Francis decides to skip classes, he is too tired to rise in the morning and prepare for school. He chooses partying and playing games over studying and going for classes. Well, we can tell what the outcome of his choices would be.
■Joe is having serious pains. He has toothache and it’s really hurting him. Joe can decide to go to the dentist and get help or he could stay back because he detests the sight of a hospital or even a doctor and doesn’t like drugs. The choice is his to make. If he wants to get rid of the pains and get better, he would choose the former option, but if he wants to remain the same, he would go with the latter option.
■Nessa has been searching for a life partner. She can’t wait to be in love and be loved. Oh! Here comes Dave. He is just what Nessa wants. Without hesitation they are dating, dating turns into courting and courting turns into marriage in just 3 months. Everything seemed so sweet. It was only five months after the wedding did things turn sour. Nessa can’t put up with Dave’s temper, parsimony, insensitivity and violent acts. Nessa is depressed and unhappy with her marriage and life. Nessa wishes she had waited a little longer to know Dave better. Well the story could have been different if she made a better choice of either knowing Dave well or looking out for someone else.
Well, there are a thousand and one examples to show that the choices you make can have serious effects on your life at present and in the future.
Nothing good comes easy. It’s not always easy to make the right choices. You must overcome some impediments.
■One of them is Heuristics or what we will commonly call “mental shortcuts”. It is only natural to want an easy way out and this leads us to shortcuts. While Heuristics save time, they don’t necessarily lead to the best possible outcomes.
■Another pitfall in making decisions is Overconfidence. Sometimes we make the mistake of overestimating our knowledge and overlooking or neglecting our incompetence. This is faulty. You need to be wary of overconfidence, it usually doesn’t breed good results. You could be heading for disaster.
■Be careful of Illusory Correlation too. Sometimes we tend to believe that two unrelated events have some type of relationship simply because they occurred at the same time. We may choose to do a certain thing just because we did something “seemingly” similar in the past that worked out well. Avoid the ‘ I-knew-it-all-along’ mindset. It may not always work out the same way. Illusory Correlation can be a pitfall in decision-making process. It can lead to faulty beliefs and generalization. For example; if you have had a bad experience with a rude store clerk, you may conclude that all clerks are rude which is not true.
■ Sentiments. If you want to make good choices, you must be courageous to put sentiments aside. This is because our feelings are not always the best guide to good decisions. It’s better to look at things objectively and make rational choices.
■Time factor. People also tend to make poor choices because they really have little time to make some important decisions. Owing to pressure, they end up making poor choices that could cause them a lot.
■Impulses. People also tend to act on their impulses. They prefer to gratify that desire now and then without considering what the consequences may be. They just want to live for the moment neglecting what the choice could cause them.
■Uncertainty and personal biases can also hinder one from good choices.
That something is difficult doesn’t make it impossible or unfeasible. Below are a few guides to making better choices:
■ Keep your eye on the target. Goals give your life a purpose and direction. Focusing on your goals will help you make choices that will keep you on the track. If you know what you want out of life and you know where you are headed, you will not be easily tossed about by the wind and you wouldn’t want to catch every train. Your choices should draw you closer to achieving your goals and objectives in life.
■ Visualise the options and outcome. It’s important to get your mind and head involved when you are making choices. With your mind’s eyes, visualise objectively the options you have and the possible outcomes that may result when you choose each one of them. Seeing a better picture of this will help you make better choices.
■ Consider your confidence level. Overconfidence can lead you to make rash and presumptuous choices which may breed bad results sooner or later. Be self-confident but be aware of your limitations.
■ Think back. Visiting the past for the sole purpose of “learning” helps you avoid repeating the same poor choices in your life. You should avoid crying over spilt milk, but learn from the past so you don’t repeat the same mistakes in the future.
■ Consider the opposite. Many persons would not and don’t like to live outside their comfort zone. They dismiss anything that doesn’t appeal to their ‘sweet taste bud’ even if those things could be beneficial to them. Being open-minded will help you accept new ideas and who knows, it could be the best option. There’s this cliché that says: “you will only grow if you step out of your comfort zone”. Considering the opposite could be very beneficial for you.
The fact that every choice one makes counts cannot be over emphasized. Life is a matter of choices and every choice you make makes you. Be properly guided and think carefully before making decisions especially the big and significant ones. It is true that one doesn’t have control over all the eventualities in life but we can still do our part to avoid disaster and an unhappy life. That impulse you want to act on now and today, can it wait? If you don’t learn to delay gratification, you will be delayed by it. Think twice. For everything you want out of life, you must put it in now; if you want happiness, put it in, if you want success, put it in, if you want health, choose a healthy lifestyle. If you make good choices today, you will in a big way avoid the possible compunction of tomorrow. Yes, until we cease to exist, we will keep making choices. Make the right one today!
#keepingitreal
#marawrytes