LEARN TO SEE THE GOOD IN OTHERS!

Do you often tend to notice just the flaws and the bad side in others? Is it a struggle to see and focus on the good in them? If you answered yes to the two questions above, then you are not alone. Many people find it hard to see the good in others ( hey, I do too). It’s really not easy to notice and focus on the good in others especially when you have labelled them “bad” or when they have wronged you several times. The negativity bias ( which is the tendency to dwell more on the negative experiences than the positive ones) possessed by humans make it difficult to focus on the positive qualities of others. In short, imperfection just makes the whole thing a difficult task.

Although it is a hard thing to do, focusing on the good in others is very necessary if you want to lead a better life. It’s imperative if you want to be happier and have better outlook and relationships. It’s often said that when you learn to see the good in others, you end up finding the good in yourself. Experiences have validated that notion. Below are some tips that can help you learn to notice and focus on the good in others. Read through carefully, I am sure you’ll learn a lot.

■ Be Realistic. Being realistic is the ability to see things as they really are and to deal with them in practical ways (definition from Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary). Being realistic has to do with accepting what is and not what you want it to be. When you are realistic, you recognize that every individual is unique and have their own flaws just like you do. With this in mind, you will never expect perfection from anyone. You will also learn to stop comparing yourself to others as everyone is different and may not act, think or talk like you do. Being realistic will help you to appreciate the flaws of others, live with it and tolerate their bad sides. I mean, people also tolerate you too so I guess you ought to do same. When you are realistic, you will learn to look beyond the imperfections of others and focus on their good sides.

■ Stop Assuming and give people the benefit of the doubt. Learning to give people the benefit of the doubt helps you trust that they may have very good intentions and not bad all the time. It helps you to stop assuming the worst things about them even if they may not have been at their best behaviours in previous times. By giving people the benefit of the doubt, you see the possible good in them and it makes the whole thing easier.

■ Focus on the present. This is similar to giving the benefit of the doubt. You see, it’s very common for humans to believe that because someone did something bad in the past, he will still do it again or he is still the “same old bad person“. This is fallacious because you may not really know the whole reason or circumstances that surrounded that person’s actions. When you keep dwelling on what someone has done in the past, especially the negatives, it becomes very challenging to see the good in them or focus on who they really are at present. Bearing in mind that people change can help you focus on the good in them.

■ Be curious about the other person. Being interested and curious about the other person can help too. If you want to know about someone or their intentions and reasons for behaving in a certain manner, it’s always best to ask questions. Ask to know and understand. Learn to listen patiently too. You’ll probably see that everything is not what it seems or what we think it to be. They may have good intentions. Asking questions and listening will help you to stop making wrong assumptions.

■ Focus on the postives. Learn to focus on the positive intentions behind every action. Now this could be really hard especially when you are hurt by it or when that action just irritates you. It always helps to slow down, breathe and think. You may even realise that people mean well for you. Learn to also focus on their positive abilities and character traits. Appreciate these things in others. Although it doesn’t remove their flaws, it sure covers them. Don’t let people’s flaws blind you to their good sides.

Focusing on the good in others is always a good thing to do even for yourself. It’s not easy and so requires great effort on your part. Think about the benefits of looking for the good in others; you’ll have healthier relationships, you’ll be emotionally strengthened, you’ll have a better outlook on life, you’ll appreciate people for who they really are, you’ll save yourself the stress of incessantly complaining about others and what they do and you will see the good in yourself too. Everyone can benefit. All and sundry are encouraged to focus on the good in others. Are you young, an adult, single or a married person? You can lead a happier life by learning to hold on to the positive qualities of others.

Let’s all try to keep focusing on the good in others, it won’t automatically make them perfect but it’s very necessary for a better and happier life. Feel free to share your lessons in the comment section. Got more tips that can help? I’ll be glad if you them in the comment section too.

#keepingitreal
#marawrytes